A) keep it in your head and actually be able to remember it because you have little or nothing else to do that could distract you.
B) write it down on a pad, in your phone or maybe you're the type who puts on a wristband that keeps reminding you (hardly an option if you have a lot going at once) or maybe you have an assistant that keeps those for you.
C) you stop thinking about it immediately and somehow when the time comes you just do it anyway like it was your destiny all along...
I'm quite sure that ever so many people fall in to atleast one category of the above. I've however left out an obvious one:
D) you do any or none or all of the aforementioned and YOU happen to FORGET anyway (this time).
For arguments sake let's not account D as a possibility as the repeating norm as that outcome would clearly be unexpected in that scenario and an unlikely event for an organised person. Now lets take you and modify you a little. A human experiment on the mind if you will. We're going to need some high science here..
First off lets mess around a bit with your short term memory. Let's alter it so that your memory about stuff you are actively interested in turns to extra efficient. I'm talking about little details remembered to the finest nuance. Now let's give a darker side to it. Things you are not actively interested in lose focus and due to the brain not giving a crap about it anymore it falls somewhere in the region between 'never had it' and 'oh shit I'm sorry'. This is a win-lose situation. On one hand you are precise with things that you are focused on (to the point of being anal about it) and the other hand just dropped everything to go look at what the first hand is doing. This might not be a problem if that was the only thing wrong with you. Unlucky for you the doctor has something else he'd like to experiment with, oh yes.
Control over your focus. Normally you might pride on being able to set your mind straight and say man, I have to do this paper and so help me I'm going to. Say goodbye to that ability because I just sold it at the black market for jellybeans.. Naturally we had to replace it with something we weren't going to leave you with a hole in your head.. No we added a relative interest generator with a repulsion beam.. and we plugged it in chain with your short memory. Sounds neat, huh? Well it kinda is. Now you have the ability to gain interest in most or any things that do not upset you upon contact at least relative to the other things you are in contact with and have little or no tolerance for things that do. The generator and beam are simple enough to understand: Upon coming across something that requires long lasting mental effort in which you are not too interested in RIGHT NOW you will be suddenly hit by the repulsion beam that makes your body react severely by causing a heavy sense of boredom, loss of breath, anxiety. It might start off as gentle but along with time the feeling will grow. At the same time the interest generator will pick up on alternate things you can do right now and will also spark a response i the body. One of wanting, needing, longing for the activity in question. It doesn't require it to be of a similar importance, just of a lesser drag than the first. The chain works like this:
First you start with several optional activities at home you could do:
play a game of final fantasy (again, boring)
Write a blog (nothing on your mind,requires thinking, its boring and tedious without anything to say)
Now there is nothing else for you to do so the only viable choice here is to play final fantasy.. You suddenly get the urge to play as if you've always wanted to. Along comes your spouse and forces you to stop playing and proceeds to give you a task that you need to do preferably now on the computer but you couldn't give a damn because it takes long and has 0 excitement level. You don't want a fight so you get up and go to the computer with the sincere intention of completing the given task. As you sit down at your desk where your workstation is with a glum feeling of boredom you suddenly remember to check your email and while doing it with utter glee your mind scans around for stuff and also remembers that you have a blog to write (an e-mail reminded you that you have one, perhaps). Now due to the distaste of the first task and increasing good feelings you get from thinking about the blog you suddenly spark a thousand and one ideas to write about. Being aware that your best work is done in that concentrated high feeling you get you decide to quickly write down some notes you want to share about that thing back then that you just remembered that humoured you. Now your memory being what it is has a hard time holding on to the aforementioned task given to you by your spouse you now have no memory of it and therefore intention of doing it and all of a sudden the stinging pressure you had before that reminded you how you detest boredom has vanished. You now have but the single enjoying feeling of accomplishing something that you have always wanted to do..
Did you do the thing? - she asks... A stinging feeling hits your throat with the sudden realisation that you forgot all about it. Maybe this HAS happened to you? Once or twice or perhaps several times? You started off meaning to do something but got carried away with something else more interesting at the time that you completely lost track and memory. Not even remembering that you HAD something to remember... Now picture going through something like this up to 10 times a day almost every day of the week. You'd think that hearing all the did yous and questioning agains you'd learn to pull it together. Learn a system, use a calendar - anything. That would be a good idea except that without it being the most interesting thing to do right now chances are you will forget to remember to even look at the calendar let alone write in it.. I have honestly been given a simple 2min task three times in one day and forgetting it 3 times after something else happened to pass my mind. I was at that time very mortified by it but also aware that I might have a problem.
It really is a sort of daily yin yang of altering patience. Extra strength tolerance to do even unmeaningful tasks for little gain that almost no one would want to do unless that is they are impulsive like you and have their eyes on the project like you do. Things that you do not like get little or no quarter in your head since obviously you do not care for the feeling of anxiety. It is the strong demotivator/motivator combination that makes an adhd person act like they do. Even the best intentions are moot if the whole agenda is gone and forgotten.
And now for me it has been four full months since I started my Attention Deficit Hyper Disorder medication called Concerta. I must say wow, the difference in day to day activities.. Before I hardly went through a day without having to say 'sorry, forgot' etc. Now the occasional undone tasks is less and less accounted by loss of memory or 'anxiety & boredom'. Life is not perfect though in that regard but it is fine, normal even. There are a lot of manners that have to be relearned and that I can tell you is no walk in the park. How about if I tell you to suddenly change 5 daily habits that you do and either stop doing them or do them completely differently. Sounds like a pain? It is.. Muscle memory or "Working memory" is hard to reprogram in a short time so you need to concentrate and follow through on things like where you leave your keys (preferably always in the same spot and and not discard the keyring of burning anxiousness randomly in a hurry where ever like you used to).
There are so many little things that connect secretively to large portions of your life and by fixing those I have discovered that not only was it clear I had ADHD but how it has adversely affected my social and professional life (in both good and bad ways).
If there is someone out there reading this who can recognise something about me that has caused a negative spin on my image I want to give out my sincere apology and hope that this in some way irons out any wrinkles that might have been caused by me having ADHD. Other than than that of course I admit I'm a helpless moron ;) I admit to being overly enthusiastic and self indulgent on several occasions...
And now at 7:30 AM I'm finally tired so good night internet and sleep tight, don't let the Flash bugs bite...
RJ
Tekstit
