Anticipation

Hello internet!

I had been waiting anxiously for some mail from two different parties recently. Of which both in their way had the chance to change my life somewhat. The thing is I hate waiting. I know that something important is coming but not the actually when. The feeling of frustration when I think about it its just awful.

Then at long last came yesterday. 2 new letters resided in my mailbox it seemed. And to my liking yes both of them were indeed the ones I've been waiting for. So there I was looking at the letters and trying to decide which to go for first. The decision wasn't that hard, though. The less important one was the obvious choice for me which was also the larger potential setback.

Ok so the bad news first: I happened to speed past a police camera a while back and it flashed as I passed it, doh. My biggest worry was that I was speeding enough for the ticket to be in the triple digits and worse off I could lose my lisence. Well luckily enough the amount settled to a very doable 70 euros which ofcourse I am not happy to pay, but I am relieved that it's merely that. Crisis averted. Next.

The good news then? I got called in my for ADHD exams in TAYS (university hospital in tampere) which is not as late as I had feared. I was given an estimate of 6 months before I'd be called back which would have been the end of november. Instead now I have a date set for the end of this month. How fab is that!

The annoying part of the invitation is that I have to pull out a plethora of information from my childhood. Old report cards, any infirmation regarding doctor visits, pictures from various parts of my childhood that I find important.. ...as if I was ever the type to keep that sort of stuff. Who knows I might get lucky and find some stashed away at my parents place. I'm not going to hold my breath though ( not untill I start dusting the boxes I'm about to rummage).

Being in a shadow of uncertainty has been a drag for the most part, although in my mind and my life I have found that whatever I am - I'm still more absent minded, more forgetful and more hyper than anyone I know personally. And for the most part people do tend to agree with me which supports my feelings on the subject. On the other hand I have talked with people who know me who would like to disagree with me. The other of these saying that I just want to get off easily. There must be something in that which I haven't grasped yet. Being adhd is not a jail free card. It is merely that some symptoms make it harder or darn near impossible to finish certain things in a normal fashion. You think it bums you out that I say that? Consider how I feel when I know I can't deliver with my best efforts, So if you want me to it anyway? Ofcourse I'll try but I'll let you know it's going to hit the fan at some point.

I am however trying to learn new ways and gimmicks as a sort of work-around and indeed they have helped to an extent. For what it's worth I'm less pushy nowadays. ;)

Sincerely,
RJ aka BaQu82
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Sent from my iPad <-- notice that yet? Yah I broke and just got the thing. It's iAwesome.:)